How can you be happy when you have nothing?

It’s a Sunday night, I ate something that looked like my grandma’s dinner with a spoon that is like my grandma’s in a house that belonged to a woman that probably was my grandma’s age.

I’m home alone ‘cause the only two people I know here went home for the weekend and I have no boyfriend. It’s just me and another episode of “Sex & the City”.

I spent the morning out in the beautiful and glamourous Milan. I walked in Mango, Victoria’s Secret, Zara and many more, and ended up buying socks. Yeah ‘cause it was the only thing I could afford. I just moved here and just to do so I spent a fortune. I’m looking for a job but no one seems interested in me. Oh, I also went into the most fabulous bookstore and spent at least 15 minutes staring at those shelves full of books in foreign languages. I’ve basically been to haven but of course I couldn’t afford to take a piece of it home with me.

In the afternoon I cleaned the house and prepared everything for my first day of school. Yeah, I’m almost 29 and terrified by the thought of another first day of school.

Now I’m waiting for the second laundry to be done wondering how can I be happy in this situation. Wondering if I am happy. Wondering if I’ll ever be happy again. Wondering if it may have been better to stick to the dream of mine that I manage to realize instead of running towards another.

I’m wondering if I did the right thing here.

Unfortunately I won’t know the answer until I give this new adventure a try.

So I guess I’m gonna have a chocolate chip cookie with a hot tea and try not to lose hope.